


Bucky Bear

by CapnShellhead



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Guilt, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 03:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: Bucky has no idea why Sam bought the damn thing. Or why anyone would buy their child a teddy bear modeled after him.





	Bucky Bear

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited for the Falcon and Winter Soldier TV show! I've been headcanoning them as roommates for years now (since TWS actually). So, enjoy! Drop me a line and let me know what you think!

The new Captain America had been met with a mixed reception.

Some still viewed the idol as a fugitive. Some were upset because they blamed the Avengers for the 5-year gap. Some were just plain old racists. Those were a little easier to pop in the mouth.

Bucky didn’t take lip from anyone. Especially some wise guy cracking jokes. Especially when he was trying to hurt Sam.

A hand pressed gently against the center of his chest and Bucky calmed some, but his blood still burned. “Hey, hey, calm it down,” Sam chided, moving into Bucky’s line of sight. His eyes were soft, a smile on his face. “Don’t put any stock into what that asshole has to say. I don’t. He’s just mad because he’s gotta spend the next twenty years in an 8x10 cell in the middle of nowhere.”

Bucky grumbled, watching as two CIA agents carried the guy away. He supposed Sam was right. Returning to the Captain, he noticed Sam’s smile was rather tight -lipped and didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I don’t like the way he was talking to you.”

“You think I did?” A crowd was forming, cameras flashing and Sam sighed, jerking his head towards the walkway corded off from the public. “Come on, man. Let’s go.”

They headed down the street, Sam’s head held high even as they attracted plenty of stares and excited whispers. Some days, Bucky wondered if they knew who he was. It had been a long time since he’d been on the news as a wanted criminal. After years of being a ghost, that experience had been rather jarring. Now, he walked side by side with Captain America and rather than feel that same discomfort with the attention, he was focused on how hard it would be to score a few minutes alone with that guy.

“It’s not that I don’t care,” Sam offered after some time. “It’s that I’m under an un _believable_ amount of pressure now. Every eye is on me and I can’t screw this up. This right here,” he pulled at the suit, “this is the dream for every one of those guys out there. I dreamed of working _with_ Captain America, not being him, because I know who I am. You understand that?”

He stopped, turning to face Bucky. “You understand that?” he repeated. “Whatever bullshit came out of that guy’s mouth, doesn’t matter. I know who I am. He can’t take that from me.”

Bucky held his gaze for a long moment before nodding. “Okay.” Sam nodded turning around. “I don’t have to like it.”

“I know that.”

“And if you hadn’t shown up, I would’ve clocked him.”

“I know that, too,” Sam said and the warmth in his tone soothed the last of the unsettled feeling in Bucky’s chest.

Crossing his arms, Bucky watched as Sam headed over to a street cart and pulled a wallet out of his utility belt. Bucky’s eyes slid down his broad shoulders, following the line of his trim waist to his ass. Sam certainly filled out the suit. Bucky’s mind started to drift, tracing the curve for a minute before someone behind him cleared their throat.

He turned around, wide eyed. “You in line, pal?” A small woman asked and Bucky shook his head, stepping aside.

Sam returned, shoving his wallet in his belt. In his hand, “Sam,” Bucky sighed.

“Bucky, meet Bucky,” Sam cheered, holding out the teddy bear.

“What is this?” Bucky asked.

But he knew. Potts had offered the use of Stark Industries best PR person, Cliff, to help Sam and Bucky present their new partnership to the world. Introduce Sam as the new Captain America and clean up Bucky’s image. Somewhere in the midst of that, toy companies had created new plush winged Captain America dolls and Bucky Bears. Teddy bears with black domino masks and an old-fashioned military uniform, for some reason.

Sam thought they were adorable but Bucky was honestly baffled by the whole thing.

Sam moved in closer, waving the bear a little. “Isn’t he cute? Look at him!” Bucky grumbled as Sam sang his name playfully and poked the bear’s nose against Bucky’s a few times. “Come on, Bucky. Be my friend.”

Bucky shook his head but Sam’s smile was so bright, his eyes alit with amusement. Figured, he always got a kick out of teasing Bucky. His lips turned up ever so slightly and Sam laughed, pulling the bear in against his chest. The sight filled Bucky with a strange warmth and he averted his eyes.

“You bought your toy; can we go home now?”

“We can,” Sam said. “But you should really buy me dinner first.”

“I should?” Bucky asked, biting down a smile.

Sam pet his stomach, “Fighting crime really works up an appetite.”

+

Bucky did buy Sam dinner, despite Sam’s insistence that he was joking.

They brought the Thai food back to their apartment where Bucky succeeded in shoving his chopsticks in the box for thirty seconds before Sam snatched it away and handed him a plate. As he ate, Bucky tried his best to avoid looking at the rest of the apartment.

Most days, he wondered how he ever got here. He wasn’t like Steve – he didn’t have all those memories of the 40s and what his life had been before he became the Winter Soldier. He was getting some of it back, only the strongest memories. His sister’s smile, his mother’s laugh, his father’s stern voice. He had memories of Steve and running down the street with some neighborhood kids playing stick ball. He’d watched the documentaries and been to the museum, but it was all in flashes. While he understood what Steve did, he had no such desire to return to the past.

He was very much happy with what he’d found here. Something new.

Sam was unlike anyone Bucky had ever met. Not just because he knew what Bucky was and cared for him anyway. Sam was his own man; he knew who he was. He was funny and charismatic and kind and the strongest person Bucky had ever met. Just being around him made Bucky want to be a better person. Then Sam opened his mouth and it was all he could to do keep from doing something childish like tossing French fries at him or sticking his tongue out like he was five years old again.

When he was around Sam, it didn’t matter that he didn’t know who he’d been. It only mattered that he knew who was now. He was Bucky Barnes, Sam’s partner in crime and a pain in his ass. He was Sam’s roommate that spent his mornings griping at Sam for not leaving any hot water and fighting with him over the remote. He was Sam’s closest friend and that was an honor. Of course, he’d never tell Sam that.

A napkin slapped him in the face and he snatched it away with a growl. Sam sucked a finger into his mouth, drawing Bucky’s attention. “What’s the matter, grumps? You been staring at the table for like an hour now.”

Bucky shook his head, poking at his rice for a moment. “Nothing, I’m just thinking.” He shot Sam a glance, “I’ve been known to do that from time to time.”

“Yeah, but, not around me,” he said with a warm smile. “What’s up? You don’t like the food?”

“You think it makes a difference what I do?” he asked quietly.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, leaning back in his chair. Bucky had his undivided attention and that was always a bit daunting.

“If I save a few people, pull some cats out of trees, does it make a difference?”

“To the people you saved and that family of felines, yes, it does,” Sam replied. At Bucky’s frown, he continued, “It’s a start. Everybody has to start somewhere. It may not seem like it but it matters. Even if it’s just one person, you’re making a difference. That person gets to go home to their family.”

“To their wife and kid, you mean?” Bucky asked, setting his chopsticks down carefully. There was a small dent on the side of the table where he’d miscalculated his strength a few months back.

“That’s what this is about.” He leaned forward, “Tony made his peace with you.”

“How are you so sure?”

Sam chewed on his lip for a minute, then, “My bank account was frozen when we went on the run. I was dirt poor and then I disappeared for 5 years. Didn’t help my credit any. But we have this apartment because he helped ensure that.”

“Even if that’s true, he did that for you.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know what to say to him. I thought, if I could help him, it would make up for what I did in some way. Now, I can’t.”

“If I know anything about what kind of man he was, you’re doing enough, Buck. One person at a time. You’re alive today because the Avengers brought you back. Do something good with it.” He stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “Now, you ready to turn in or you wanna keep moping?”

Bucky shook his head fondly, standing and helping to clear the table. Sam ran the dishwater, slapping a dishtowel over his shoulder. For a moment, Bucky just stood there, studying his profile, the curve of his eyelashes as he poured some soap in the sink and waited, his hand on his hip. A brief moment where Bucky realized he’d seen a similar sight nearly every night for the past six months and he’d never realized what it meant to him.

For the past ten years, Bucky had been trying to find a place in the world, chasing a life. Trying to find a home and he’d found it right here. And he’d never even realized it. Sam turned the water off, picking up a plate and wiping it down. Teasing brown eyes cut to Bucky as he chided, “Well, get your butt over here and dry these dishes. Don’t just stand there and look pretty.”

Bucky laughed, joining him at the sink. “I thought that’s why you asked me to move in.”

Sam bumped him with his shoulder, “You’re my sidekick. You’re my Riggs.” Bucky stared at him blankly. “Okay, Lethal Weapon. Add it to the list.”

+

Afterwards, Bucky moved around the apartment turning the lights out. He locked the door, checking the windows and turning on the alarm system. When they’d installed it, he’d spent a few nights trying to break in. Sam was pissed but, at least they knew it was secure. Bucky wasn’t taking any chances with Sam.

As he returned to the hall, he saw Sam pick up the Bucky Bear doll. Sighing, Bucky shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m never going to get rid of that thing, huh?”

Sam shook his head, hugging the doll close to his chest. Bucky never thought he’d be jealous of a toy. Sam caught his glare and grinned, holding the doll out. “Give him a kiss.” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms as Sam came to a stop in the hall between their rooms. “Come on, come on,” he cheered.

The dim light from Sam’s room washed his face in a warm glow. A bright smile that never seemed to fade and never stopped making Bucky feel like he was a nervous teenager again. Tripping over himself to keep Sam’s attention. Sam moved in closer, the scent of his cologne clouding Bucky’s judgement.

“Come on, kiss me,” Sam sang, touching the doll to Bucky’s nose. “Kiss me.”

Bucky’s heart beat faster as the doll came down and everything went silent. Because their lips were joined in the middle.

Sam let out a soft breath, his hand on Bucky’s chest. But he wasn’t pushing him away. His fingers curled, clutching Bucky’s shirt and keeping him close as his mouth fell open and Bucky took his tongue. His heart was beating painfully fast in his chest, Sam’s body heat warming him from the inside out. They broke apart for a second before their lips met again in the next. Sam’s hands fell to his waist, a soft hum escaping as he pushed him away carefully.

His eyes were dark, his lips bruised, the sight sending a flash of heat down Bucky’s spine. He tried to focus as Sam spoke. “You would wait and do that at one in the morning.”

Bucky blinked at him, a laugh escaped. “You scolding me right now?”

Sam averted his gaze to the bear in hand, the warm light casting a glow across his brown skin. He truly was beautiful. “I’ve been waiting for you to do that for a few months now.”

Bucky stared at him. “You have?”

Sam nodded, uncharacteristically shy. “And when you didn’t, I thought this thing was one sided and I was okay with that. I want you here.” He met Bucky’s gaze, his words firm. “I don’t want to mess this up.”

“That’s usually my line,” Bucky replied. “I don’t do speeches, Sam. You know that.”

“I do,” he said with a smile.

“I like it here. I’m almost like a regular person.” He took the bear, scratching at his brow.

“You know why I like that thing?” Sam asked, crossing his arms. At Bucky’s shake of the head, “Parents buy these things for their kids because they want their kids to look up to them or because they think it’ll make their kids feel safe.”

Bucky’s eyes widened, breath catching as Sam moved in closer. “Somewhere out there, some little kid is clutching this thing to keep the bad dreams away. You are making a difference.”

Bucky’s eyes fell shut as he leaned in for another kiss, his eyes warm. He pulled away to whisper, "Thank you, Sam."

+

Hours later, Bucky woke up to a strange sound.

He climbed out of bed, stepping carefully over the clothes on the floor to his door. It was a quiet rustling and soft pleas. Bucky tensed, ready to confront an intruder. As he opened his door, he realized the sound was coming from Sam’s room. He moved quickly, quietly sliding the door open.

Sam was asleep, fingers gripping the sheets tight as he shivered. His breathing was labored, face twisted in pain as he held himself tight like a band. Concerned, Bucky closed the door quietly behind himself and moved in closer. Bucky seen Sam sleeping a few times before: when he fell asleep on the couch on a Sunday afternoon or when he’d had to wake him for a mission. Sam normally spread out, known to sprawl if he had the room. Now, he was coiled tight on himself like he was afraid to take up too much room.

And he was shaking.

Bucky kneeled beside the bed and touched his arm. Sam didn’t seem to notice. Bucky rubbed his arm softly, waiting as Sam gradually stilled, his eyes opening dazedly. “Buck?” he whispered.

“Hey, you were keeping me up,” he said with a smile.

Sam didn’t smile back, rasping, “I’m sorry.”

Bucky stroked his arm gently, “Don’t worry about it.” Sam shivered a little as he asked, “You okay?”

Sam closed his eyes. “Bad night. It happens.”

Bucky nodded, stroking his arm absently as his eyes fell on a figure on the night stand. Smiling, he reached over and took the bear in hand. “I thought this was supposed to keep the nightmares away.”

A glimmer of something flickered across Sam’s face. “I’m not a kid, Buck.”

“Oh, is that right?” He set the toy down and stood. “Maybe I can help?”

He climbed onto the bed, waiting for a moment before Sam took his hand. Bundling him into his arms, Bucky let out a slow breath, holding Sam tight to his chest. Sam shivered a bit before he relaxed, the scent of his soap in Bucky’s nose. It was pleasant and soft, his natural scent leading Bucky to nose into his throat.

“This help?” he asked after some time.

He never got an answer. Sam was fast asleep.     


End file.
